Lee St. John, a member of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, is a #1 Amazon ranked humorous author. Look for her on Facebook, Twitter (@LeeStJohnauthor), and on her blog at ww.leestjohnauthor.com. Her new release, “SHE’S A KEEPER! Cockamamie Memoirs from a Hot Southern Mess” can be found on Amazon.com.

There is a pattern, a common denominator, and similarity to a few successful and important people that I have been seeing for some time. ALL are in government in some form so you’d think I’d mention strength of character, high morals, good judgment and such. Nope. None of those. It’s their teeth.

Case study one: The James Earl Carter Family
People would say that Amy was the one with the large set of teeth for such a little girl. The reason for that is simple: she WAS a little girl and hadn’t grown into her teeth yet. Of course they appear larger for the young. Teeth are made for a full-size person. Now that mouthful fits into that same big smile. But I say it’s not Amy, it is Jeff, one of three Carter boys. He is the one carrying their genetic make-up for a larger set of teeth and jaw.

Case study two: The Bill Clinton Family
Here is another important family in politics whose daughter is the one loaded with the ivories, not the parents. Chelsea didn’t seem to really grow out of them from childhood either, do you think? Since heredity has everything to do with what you might receive, you’d think you’d see something in the Clinton family. Maybe that physical characteristic is further back than just her immediate kin.

Case study three: The Joseph Kennedy family
Are you starting to see this pattern? In this case almost every Kennedy has a bundle. Many people inherit large teeth from one side of the family and small jaws from the other side of the family. This causes severe crowding. Personally, I think the Kennedy’s collected this DNA from both Joe and Rose. They both had lots of teeth…lots of long, white, wide teeth. It’s the first thing I notice when looking at most all of them.

Case study four: The British Windsor family
Now William is cute as a tic, but come on, he’s got some long incisors. I don’t think you’ll see that on the Spencer side of the family. Look at his Aunt Ann, Queen Elizabeth I’s only daughter. Now there is a chipmunk mouth. I take Majesty magazine and believe me, there are some past relatives with the same portion. And you know in the 19th century they were still marrying their cousins, so I guess that answers that about dominant gene coming from both sides of a family. They didn’t have great dental care for the longest time. If they had a good dentist over there, one might have been helped with their misfortunes like braces or resetting their jaw. Ann’s two offspring also have pretty big kissers and Margaret, Elizabeth’s sister, had children with some choppers as well.

Case study five: The J. Donald Trump family
Is it just me? Am I wrong in this comparison? What do these political dynasties have in their water? Donald, Jr.; Eric; Ivanka. I swear, the first thing I notice are their mouths. Is this an illusion? Is it because their head sizes are small so their teeth look big? I read fathers passing their teeth to daughters can make the females teeth look like Chicklet gum. And if mothers pass their teeth to sons they might look like corn kernels when the boys are adults. I don’t see this trait in The Donald or Ivana.

Having big teeth is called Macrodontia, a dental term. It’s genetic and found in many African-Americans. The ideal mouth is not too far forward, both the upper and lower teeth show, and where there is not much gum showing; this is where the tooth size works out okay.
I notice things like this. I inherited my mother’s diastema, or the space or gap between two teeth. Mine was in front, like Mad Magazine’s Cover boy, Alfred E. Neuman. I used rubber bands to correct my problem, but that’s another story (and I promise it’s a goodie).
So, what does a Tooth Fairy pay for these large teeth? Are they worth more? If so, in these cases, it’s a good thing that these families are well off. They can help her out with the expense.