Thack You: Thank You Russia
Larry Thack wishes to acknowledge and bewail your manifold sins and wickedness

Thack You: Thank You Russia

larry-thack-picture
Larry Thack just lost a cooking challenge to Bobby Flay

Thank you Russia for rigging the election. I was really getting tired of explaining to once hopeful teens that America’s full of dimwits. Now it is clearly the superior intellect of the Russians who have fixed our election. The eighties are coming back and apparently that means blaming the Soviets for everything again.
This fake news that Russia fed to Americans is nothing more than the sort of thing an aunt would say to a clergy member on facebook.
How about the FBI agent found dead who happened to be the same one investigating Hillary for that boring email story? Thank you Russia for making it interesting. And how is it okay for cops to kill people but not presidential candidates? Should we not assume they do that sort of thing all the time? The opportunity to kill people is really the only reason I’m running for mayor.
My favorite is the fake story about the Pope endorsing Trump. What’s so hard to believe here? The Catholic Church would sooner close a franchise than name a woman as the leader of one. We don’t need Russia to explain this. The new pope is progressive for sure, but he’d be more likely to endorse Hillary getting an abortion than her being any country’s president.
If Russia involved itself at all it was so Putin may find a friend. Not since GW Bush has he had such a friend. None of the other world leaders are as cool as Trump and they have a lot in common: an affinity for gilded gold leaf furniture, and that’s probably enough really.
Also, to the throngs of people who won’t stop complaining about the election’s outcome:
Celebrities – All of you promised to leave and none of you have done so! Only one of you had the decency of having a nervous breakdown as a sign of respect. Thank you Kanye.
Teeange girls- You expected the first female president and you should’ve gotten it easily…..if only women had turned out to vote for Hillary we would be once again disinterested in politics.
California – What’s your problem California? You started the whole “elect unqualified people” thing. Remember Reagan and Schwarzenegger? And how about Jerry Brown? You elected that nutball twice