Larry Thack’s application for membership in Amazon’s Prime Club was respectfully declined.

It’s now been 25 years since the Georgia Dome was opened, and it’s past due for a replacement. As a season ticket holder for the FalconBirds I have seen plenty of things you just can’t clean. It puzzles me that New Orleans can still endure the Superdome after almost twice as long, but I guess if you can somehow clean up after a hurricane then a Monsterjam tractor-pull show isn’t such a big deal.
Nevertheless, it is clear that we must destroy the Georgia Dome as soon as possible because of the bad memories. First of all, it is a reminder to us all that the University of Georgia doesn’t really have a football program. Twelve years after UGA won its lone modern-era National Championship the Dome was built. Within it the “Dawgs” have kicked a few field goals and won a couple SEC Championships but lost three more-  At Home! I can’t remember, was the Dome originally Red and Black and has now faded to Pink and Green or was it always that stupid looking? So now it’s coming down after 25 years only reminds us further of how long it’s been since UGA has won a championship. All of their rivals have at least one in the last 35 years – even Tech somehow. Georgia’s not even placing or showing in these matches for crying out loudly. If UGA had challenged for as many Fiesta Bowls as its fans would have you believe then third-world countries receiving the erroneous championship hats and tees would think the oblong “G” more powerful than Darth Vader. It’s not that I’m a fan one way or the other, but when I see half of Betty’s Fine Collectibles dedicated to UGA crap, I feel maybe the “Dawgs” should at least back up that fervor with some titles.
Of course, when it comes to being let-down in the Dome, UGA is but a bridesmaid to me since I also cheer for the lowly Panthers of Georgia State. I also suffered cancelled concerts by such heroes as Iggy Azalea, Kenny West, and Nickelback. The FalconBirds cheered me up a good bit til they turned their backs on Mike Vick. Since then It’s been a sad-clap for the home team- until now! Our dog-days are over friends.
I’ll have some pretty scary seats for the last game – way up towards the roof. That fool Christmas tree farm fella won my regular seats in a card game. If he aint drinkin’, then he’s a gamblin’. From there I will root loudly for my boys: Julio, Devonta, Hoopie, and that beady-eyed quarterback whose plainness makes remembering his name hopeless.
So good luck FalconBirds! Give the Dome the sendoff it deserves.