Fayette County News

Fayette County


Thack You: Taste of Fayette

Larry Thack wishes to acknowledge and bewail your manifold sins and wickedness
Larry Thack’s Extra-Sap Christmas tree has mercifully destroyed his grandchildren’s poorly-made ornaments.

A couple weeks ago I took a bad spill and broke a few bones. Rehab has been delightful and my speedy recovery is imminent. I would like to thank some of those who came to my aid by means of the traditional food offerings.
First let me say the purpose of taking food to the sick, sad, or injured is to encourage them to eat at a time when eating may be difficult. The purpose is also to witness the extent of the injury and report back. Very little of this was done properly.
I appreciate the effort from old lady Pearman, but I know the state of her kitchen, and chicken tetrazzini has too many variables. As I picked through my bowl, every bite appeared to have a hair or possibly tinsel in it. I shall befriend a feral cat with this meal.
God bless you Mrs. Lloyd, but you must cook the meatloaf before giving it to the needy. Meatloaf is a delicacy for sure and quite the perfect foodstuff to present the sickly indigent such as myself. I would eat it every night if it weren’t for the grease mess which you have artfully avoided. Having taken a bite of mealy, uncooked meatloaf, I now have two messes to clean up and now she wants her pan back.
Then there’s Mrs. Brewer. She sprained her hand a few months back repeatedly peering out of her blinds at the neighborhood teens. I’ve been hauling her trash to the curb over this time and I don’t like what I see. She seems to only eat canned foods which she opens with a primitive tool. Thankfully she gifted me with some gelatin packs and made certain that I had sandwich bread and mayonnaise. She then reminded me to donate to the tin-drive for the war effort.