Thack You: Some bad things that happened this week
Larry Thack wishes to acknowledge and bewail your manifold sins and wickedness

Thack You: Some bad things that happened this week

Larry Thack left his wallet in a hot air balloon last Saturday

It’s been a tough week for old Thack.
The other morning I removed my electric toothbrush from my mouth too soon. It furiously sprayed my face with the baking soda and Borax mixture I use as a paste. I was blinded and thrown into the corner of my bathroom as it furiously spewed its poison. Fortunately I was able to protect myself by hiding in the bathtub until the battery died. I spent that afternoon repainting.
My cat, Neptune, died this morning. He was flattened by a school bus which is particularly annoying since it’s summertime. Fortunately I had just run out of cat food so there’s no net-loss in this situation.
On Sunday we had a nice time with the nephews at Six Flags. The kids like the rides, but I like to read the t-shirts on the patrons at the park. I have found that Six Flags is one of the premier spots in the country to “T-shirt Watch.” Alas, gone are the days when a t-shirt was just a sports-program with which you might affiliate yourself. T-shirts have now become an explanation of the attitudes, desires, and threats of its messenger. A few years ago I would delight in the “I’m with stupid” shirts which gave way to the terrible, “keep calm and …….”. Now the variety of bad t-shirts has overwhelmed Thack. Everyone seems to wear a unique and different message that I cannot fully read as they pass at a dizzying pace. As the crowd sped past me I read the shirts in vain and collapsed onto a park bench that was soiled with a days-worth of tourist-leavings. My own t-shirt was now stained with the three food groups of Six Flags: ketchup, ranch, and orange nacho fluid. Ruined was my “You Can’t Ban These Guns” T shirt with arrows that pointed outwards implying the lethality of my arms.
For some reason I lost power in my house on Wednesday. I guess it rained last night. As a result I had to endure a prolonged experience of not hearing any news from Mr. Trump. When the power was restored I did enjoy staring at my clock as it blinked the incorrect time. This will often occupy me for a good bit.