Fayette County News

Fayette County


Thack You: Not Binary

Larry Thack wishes to acknowledge and bewail your manifold sins and wickedness
Larry Thack is heavily invested in pay phones.

Every so often I attend the Board of Education meeting to complain about the kids on my street. When they’re not bathing in my birdbath they’re refilling it with urine. This week at the BOE was a little different. Usually I am given the floor and enabled to speak, but there was a throng of angries lined up to complain about progress.
Apparently the school system wants to train all the school nurses to understand how not to offend members of the LGBTQ community. After a sarcastic translation of the acronym by a man patting his face with a handkerchief who described himself a pastor, I realized I was right in the middle of some 1940’s theatrical production. I guess they’re taking the week off from all the BOE business to have some fun by doing a little play. I’m thinking it’s some version of “Inherit the Wind.” That’s one of my favorites! Being in a small, southern town that’s strong enough to deal with its past is refreshing. Just like in the play, we no longer teach “creationism” in schools, and we’ve come a long way throughout our community. We stopped beating the Irish when I was in college, the Japanese internment camps were closed when I returned from the war, and the local “trail of tears” was paved over and named Easterbrook Way. I’ve changed as well – I stopped warning the townsfolk that their tomatoes are poisonous. I couldn’t stay to the end, but I’m sure this was resolved as Spencer Tracy would’ve wanted.
What was a wonderful night at the theatre turned disastrous when I looked at the paper on Wednesday and learned it was a real meeting! Apparently, everyone in town is upset that the school system doesn’t want its nurses to stick their fingers up their noses and in their ears when met with any gender issues. I for one like to see government employees who don’t understand anything anyone is saying. Why train them now? We like things how they are. This is not New York City. This is not San Francisco. This is Fayette County. I think that one lady at the meeting fully explained that our kids aren’t allowed to be gay, so what’s the problem?