Last year for Christmas I was given the gift of a goat. I never got to pet or play with the goat as this was a do-gooding goat that would be drop-shipped to a community in need on my behalf. A mail ordered animal delivered somewhere in the third world will surely please our Lord and forevermore my Christmas wish is that a goat named Larry shall provide a village with life sustaining wool and eggs. This was a brilliant gift – I didn’t have to find a place to put it, no box to throw away, and I felt like I was doing something good for a society that doesn’t matter. I immediately set about to let everyone know how selfish and inferior they had become but found some resistance.
Many will say these alternative charities fail because more aid can be given with money than things. That can be true in some cases, but many societies dispense responsibilities by gender. The women may be in charge of the livestock, while the men control the money. Giving a goat can add balance to your giving. This is why I only gave goats for Christmas this year.
Naturally I became very curious about the original gifted-goat, so I dug up the card with all my goat’s information and decided to see how he’s doing. Apparently, he caused a syphilis outbreak. The town’s population is no more.

Larry Thack’s Marta Breeze Card was declined