Fayette County News

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Thack You: An open letter to the International House of Burgers

Larry Thack wishes to acknowledge and bewail your manifold sins and wickedness
Larry Thack was just bitten by his handyman, Andy

It was 7:16 in the evening when I heard the news. IHOB, International House of Burgers, would change its name back to IHOP, International House of Pancakes. At first I was saddened and sure it was due to backlash from the initial change. I’d heard of protests in the northwest and was aware of disgruntlement here at home. I originally applauded and supported the change as I am ever-always searching for peace. When I learned it was all just a prank I became quite enraged and penned this letter…..

Dear restaurant,
I recently learned that your company’s name change was not an earnest business decision but a pejorative put-down which I will not permit. Yes, I will continue to consume your meals, but I will not allow you to prank me as you would a close friend – we are acquaintances at most! As such I will continue to call you IHOB – I do not accept the prank.
When I pay you for your adequate service, you should make certain the receipt says IHOB or I will reject and deny the charges for I shall never eat at an IHOP again! IHOB on the other hand, I’m cool with.
And B-T-Dubs: Your servers are jerks and your place smells like mold. Also, your customers seem miserable as they dine and not a one leaves your booths without a pronounced limp.
Sincerely,
Concerned Citizen

That ought to do it.