It was 7:16 in the evening when I heard the news. IHOB, International House of Burgers, would change its name back to IHOP, International House of Pancakes. At first I was saddened and sure it was due to backlash from the initial change. I’d heard of protests in the northwest and was aware of disgruntlement here at home. I originally applauded and supported the change as I am ever-always searching for peace. When I learned it was all just a prank I became quite enraged and penned this letter…..
I recently learned that your company’s name change was not an earnest business decision but a pejorative put-down which I will not permit. Yes, I will continue to consume your meals, but I will not allow you to prank me as you would a close friend – we are acquaintances at most! As such I will continue to call you IHOB – I do not accept the prank.
When I pay you for your adequate service, you should make certain the receipt says IHOB or I will reject and deny the charges for I shall never eat at an IHOP again! IHOB on the other hand, I’m cool with.
And B-T-Dubs: Your servers are jerks and your place smells like mold. Also, your customers seem miserable as they dine and not a one leaves your booths without a pronounced limp.
That ought to do it.