Larry Thack is running for mayor of PTC and changing his name to LAR

Another Halloween and I don’t expect much company. I bought a couple sacks of candy and a smoking cauldron to put it all in, but I don’t much see the point. Last year I got a couple groups. Maybe five total kids. Mostly fools with losers for parents waiting at the end of the driveway. I know these kids, so the costumes provide me a respite from acknowledging them. Little Cole is a much better person when he’s dressed as Ironman. For an evening you forget all about why his mother isn’t around. Maybe it’s the pills. Precious Stephanie looks like a real princess in her costume. Her mother is a whiz at cooking meth and will make sure her daughter stays thin. Cute little Amber is going as Panama City. Her dad threw up on her so it’s pretty accurate. Most of these kids will inherit lung cancer from their parents and fondly remember the time they were actually able to walk down the street. Halloween is a moment of joy before it’s off to the factory, warm beer, and violence.
The litter spread about the streets can cause tire damage, but I shouldn’t complain about the mess. The neighbors and I have a good arrangement: I’ll clean up the candy wrappers, and you guys entertain me in the police blotter.
My neighborhood doesn’t much participate in Halloween on the actual day, but throughout the year I get visitors all the time letting me know they are fulfilling their responsibility of informing me that they are sexual offenders. Not much different; always at night, costumes, candy. I will retreat to the back porch now and ignore anyone who might come tapping at my chamber door. I have a good friend right now who accompanies me on the porch. A bright eyed squirrel eats his nuts and drops the shells on me from his tree branch. We’re good friends.