Back in the saddle again

Back in the saddle again

SJ is part of a local writers group in Senoia that meets the third Saturday of every month at 10 a.m. at the Senoia Library. You can also follow more of her writing at creativejuices-sjcox.tumblr.com.

After seven weeks of reading my re-run columns, I am sure my dear readers are wondering what happened to me. Did I drop of the face of the planet or just stop writing for the paper? Well I am here to assure you that neither of those things happened. I was simply taking a much needed sabbatical in order to recuperate from major spinal surgery. If I had tried to write anything during that period it would have just been a garbled mess seeing as how I was on very strong pain killers at the time. Well, all garbled mess aside I am getting back in the saddle again and ready to bring you some interesting insights.
While down these last seven weeks I have had a lot to think. Amidst my crazy Percocet-riddled hallucinations and dreams I did have some moments of clarity. As the dosages reduced over the weeks those moments of clarity became more and more. I began thinking about what I wanted to be when I grew up. That may sound silly to many of you, seeing as I am already a full grown adult who has been on my own since I was in my early twenties, but it’s a fact I still need to face. I recently celebrated my 39th birthday and find I am still struggling with my career choices.
For twenty years I have been working somewhat steadily, yet unsteadily in field of Costume Design for the stage. Though I love it, it requires a lot of my time and takes me all over the place with travel. This however doesn’t suit my home and family life. Though my husband doesn’t seem to mind, I do. I have a very happy home life. I love my husband, I love my furry babies (a dog and cat I adore), and I love my house. In all other aspects of life I seem to be complete, but my work life seems to be lacking.
As a child I often dreamed of becoming big and famous. I suppose most children do at some point in their life. Usually it’s just a passing fancy, but as I began following my heart and studying the performance arts in college I realized that what I wanted most was to work in the film industry as a costume designer. I thought after 20 years that that dream had died. I had no desire to live in California or New York and over the years my priorities changed. Well now that I am living comfortably in Georgia I find that the film industry is coming to me. Through tax breaks and state initiatives the film industry is becoming an ever present thing right here in our community and I want in on it.
The film industry is finding that there aren’t enough workers in the state of Georgia for their needs, so sprang up the creation of the Georgia Film Academy. It’s a school in which people can train and intern on the set of working film productions right here in their area. It’s a wonderful idea, and I was finally able to convince my husband that we could afford for me to go for it. However, now that I have had spinal surgery and should not be on me feet for long hours at a time I have had to rethink things.
So now, nagging at the back of my brain is the question do I follow my dream or do I take the safe road and just get a “regular” job with a steady income and benefits? Do I “grow up” or do I continue in my childlike state of belief that I can be anything I want? It is a lot to think about. Creative arts have always been not only a part of my life, but a passion. Anything and everything I do has some sort of flare of creativity to it. I don’t think I could live life without it. So, for now I need to continue focusing on getting completely better before I make a decision. Once I am completely back on my feet I will have decided, follow my dream or create a new one. Either way at least I still have my family to fall back on for support.