A Lawyer gets burned

A Lawyer gets burned

studdard-james
James Studdard is an attorney who lives by and on the advice of his Uncle Zorba who said: Πίνω Ως εκ τούτου, είμαι. He may be reached for comment, if absolutely necessary, at studlaw2000@yahoo.com.

I will call the lawyer John. John loved great cigars, so he had a friend of his smuggle 24 crisp Romeo y Juliet cigars in from Cuba. These were the long jewels encased in individual tin containers; about $25 apiece in the states.
John, then purchased a $15,000.00 insurance policy on the cigars and proceeded to smoke them, one by one. Even before he made his first premium payment on the insurance policy, but after the last Cuban stogie was smoked, John reported a loss of the cigars to the insurance company, claiming full payment of $15,000.00. The lawyer explained to the insurance company that the cigars were destroyed in a series of small fires. The insurance company smelled a rat, or more correctly a lawyer, and rejected the claim.
The insurance company alleged that John consumed the cigars in the normal fashion, i.e., he smoked them. Not so fast said John. “Can you deny” queried John, “that the subject matter of the litigation was lost in a fire, and my policy covers losses to fire?” The insurance company’s lawyers guffawed uncontrollably as John (pardon the pun) fumed. So John, like lawyers usually do, sued. Off to court they went. The judge, who looked Cuban, and a little like Castro, rendered his decision with a thick Latino accent. “Leesen Mr. (insurance agent) eet es without question that John purchased a policy of insurance wheech protected the insured items from loss by fire, right?” The judge proceeded to rule that the policy warranted that the cigars were insurable and the policy also guaranteed that the items insured were covered for fire loss; therefore, the company should pay the claim.
After a lot of posturing, bluffing and delaying, the insurance company, rather than engage the lawyer in an expensive and lengthy appeal paid the $15,000.00. John was very happy an immediately celebrated by purchasing several more boxes of the smuggled Romeo y Juliet cigars and smoked his way down to Aruba for a dream vacation.
Upon returning home from his Caribbean vacation, he was met at concourse C by several federal agent types who informed John that he was under arrest. His baggage was searched whereupon many cigars were confiscated as contraband. Charges for bringing illegal Cuban cigars into the U.S were lodged against John.
John was distraught but figured, hey, a few cigars, so what; Aruba, sun, sand, Tequila, only a little misdemeanor, no big deal. The next day John trotted down to the courthouse and paid his fine for the illegal cigars; $250.00, nominal when you consider the $15,000.00 check from the insurance company. And just to rub it in he called the insurance agent and told the agent he knew the agent had him arrested with the second batch of cigars; called him a couple of names, hung up and lit up a Romeo y Juliet.
About a month later, John was in his office puffing on a Cuban, when there appeared at his office door the local sheriff with a warrant for John’s arrest charging him with 24 counts of Arson and insurance fraud.  The judge at John’s trial (who looked a lot like Prince Albert) found that John possessed 24 insured cigars and intentionally burned, in a series of 24 little fires (the insured property) to fraudulently collect the proceeds of a fire policy. John was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a fine of $24,000.00.