This conversation between the Donald and his favorite child did not take place, but it well could have a few weeks ago.
Ivanka: Daddy, you are being pictured in the news as unfeeling and completely heartless. Why did you feel it was necessary to separate little children from their parents at the border?
Trump: Just ignore everything that you see on Main Stream Media, it’s all Fake News. Instead, just go to my personal channel, Fox News. That is the only accurate news channel because they accurately repeat exactly what I tell them to say. It’s my unofficial state news channel, and I’m entitled to that because I am President and I can do or say whatever I want. It’s simple to understand, right?
Ivanka: Just because these other networks report news that is unfavorable to you, that does not make their reporting “fake,” Daddy, but I understand why you say that. If your followers only believe something if they see it on Fox News, which is always positive in its reporting about you, and have no other news source, then they will always support whatever you do, right or wrong.
Trump: I am not following you. I am always right, never wrong, because I am a stable genius. Everyone with a brain knows that and if they don’t it is because they have a low IQ, like all my opponents.
Ivanka: Daddy, you once again managed to get off track, brag about yourself, and not answer the question about the kids being separated from their parents.
Trump: Listen, if those kids didn’t want to be separated, they should not have come here. They are all illegals. It’s not my fault anyway. It’s Hillary Clinton and the Democrats.
Ivanka: But Hillary lost the Electoral College and was never President. And the GOP controls the House, the Senate, and the Presidency. How could it be their fault?
Trump: Dear, don’t you watch Fox News? They were saying just the other day that the problem is the Democrats.
Ivanka: Yes, but they just said it because you said it. You were the one who made the change in policy that caused these innocent children all this pain.
Trump: So, what is your point? I’ve already told you that I am always right.
Ivanka: Daddy, you really don’t want to talk about those kids, do you?
Trump: Well, I’d rather talk about you, Ivanka. You have a great figure. If you weren’t my daughter, I’d be dating you.
Ivanka: You’re off the subject again. And those remarks make me very uncomfortable. Please, Daddy, help those poor children. Some of them are just babies who did nothing wrong and are being punished anyway.
Trump: Just for you, I’m going to reunite these kids with their parents, even though I had nothing to do with it. That was the Democrats.
Ivanka: Great, how are you going to do it?
Trump: I’ll just go on Fox News and announce that they will all be reunited. It’s as simple as that!
Ivanka: Yes, but how? Have your people kept up with where the kids and their parents are being held? Whose responsibility will it be to get it done?
Trump: I’m too busy to figure that out. Someone else will eventually, or I will just fire someone like I did on The Apprentice. The important thing is that we keep blaming the Democrats and Crooked Hillary. Lock her up!