Thack You: An open letter to people who wear pollen masks

Larry Thack will graduate Satrurday with a Degree in Promotional Pathology

Nobody likes you.
Pollen season seems to be winding down now. I have washed the yellow dust from my porch and the brim of my cap. The weather has been most pleasant over the last couple months but you mask-wearers seem to have a problem with it. How dare you offend our temperate and pleasing climate with your display!
I’ve talked to the girl at Rite Aid. She has more respect for the man who buys Swisher Sweets and Plan B pills than you. The baggers at Publicks won’t take your groceries outside. You are the target of panhandlers and the scourge of the Jesuits. Nobody like you.
Are you robbing a store or fragile and infirm? Where are your crutches and wheelchair? What a dangerous place we live! A pity that you should leave your bubble at all when the peril is at its height.
May the mask slip from your face for just an instant while pollen breezes into your nostrils. May your lungs fill with bile and choke you to death for just enough time that a crowd can gather to enjoy it. May we slide the mask over your eyes and push you into the gutter. Children will visit the corpse and poke it with a stick supplied by the County.

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Fayette Newspapers  - 210 Jeff Davis Place, P.O. Box 96 Fayetteville, GA 30214 - (770) 461-6317 • To access legal notices visit http://www.georgiapublicnotice.com/.