Thack You: An embarrassing confession – The Tyrone mural

Larry Thack’s fantasy football club drafted him out of their league

Last week the Town of Tyrone covered the dated, folksy mural inside the town hall with an even less classy velvet blanket. There’s more to this story, and I was there.
I was on the council in Tyrone when we acquired the mural, and I need to level with all of you. It was a hard time for Tyrone. We were just getting incorporated and didn’t have much money. We needed something to cover the stains on the wall of the meeting chamber as the previous occupant was a nail salon, and, when we took down the mirrors, the glue pulled off a lot of the drywall. Just before our first meeting one of the Oddo boys and I went up north of Atlanta to one of those salvage shops on Jimmy Carter Boulevard. We found one that dealt in reclaimed courthouse and city hall items. This warehouse was glorious. There were 20,000 or so square feet of everything from metal detectors, to gavels, to framed art of white people. When we saw the mural we knew at once it might possibly fit. The sales guy there told us it was originally painted for the children’s section in a Connecticut bookstore which explained the gauche, clumsiness of its artwork. He recommended that we touch it up a little, add our own themes, and it’d be a perfect repurposement. Our only concern was that people would immediately notice that most everyone in the mural is wearing winter clothing and the train is fitted with a snowplow, but that astonishingly never came up. The warehouse also was having a buy-one-get-one on clover stickers and clover stencils.
Sure we’re regretful of the mural but at least it’s not as bad as the one on the water treatment plant in Peachtree City. Why’s that hairless cyborg drinking a glass of water as he drowns? You’re next for the velvet blanket Peachtree City!

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