Name Calling

Lee St. John, a member of the National Society of Newspaper Columnists, is a No.1 Amazon ranked humorous author. Look for her on Facebook, Twitter (@LeeStJohnauthor), and her blog at www.leestjohnauthor.com. Her new release, “SHE’S A KEEPER! Cockamamie Memoirs from a Hot Southern Mess” can be found on Amazon.com.

Did you have a hard time naming your children?
When I hear from teachers, they especially find it hard to name one of their own after teaching a few rascals so that they wouldn’t dare use the names of those students for their own. They might turn out like those little hooligans!
I enjoyed the book “Freakanomics” by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner. The subtitle is A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything. It redefines the way we look at the modern world.
Chapter Six’s title is Perfect Parenting, Part II; or: Would a Rhoshanda by Any Other Name Smell as Sweet? The topic is that “the belief in parental power is manifest in the first official act a parent commits: giving the baby a name. As any modern parent knows, the baby-naming industry is booming, as evidenced by a proliferation of books, websites, and baby-name consultants. Many parents seem to believe that a child cannot prosper unless it is hitched to the right name; names are seen to carry great aesthetic or even predictive powers.”
Is naming destiny?
With our first born, we had a heck of a time. I found the book Parents Book of Baby Names by Martin Kelly. It contained the origins and history, their meaning, the nick-names, and derivations of hundreds of female and male names. But then Freakanomics made me think — can a name be damaging to one’s psyche?
I asked my friends on Facebook to tell me about actual people they know/knew that I could add to the list. These are real people, folks. Remember that while reading. Here they are:
Crystal Fountain was a school mate.
Miss White married Mr. Green and moved to Gray, Georgia.
Another White gal, Bonnie, married Ken Knight. Did you figure out she was then Bonnie White Knight?
Dr. Strait was a Cartersville, Georgia orthodontist. Jimmy Shivers’s father was in the refrigeration business. A friend’s parents’ actual names are Dick and Jane.
Someone knows a Jay Bird.
Sonny, Dusty, Wendy, Stormy, and Misty Williams. A friend worked with a girl named Holly Bush.
Jazzercise instructor had an aunt named Kat Knapp and her daughter-in-law was Nita Knapp.
A neighbor knew a girl in high school named Polly Sachs
—pronounced Socks. Her middle name was Esther. Now say it all together…that’s right, polyester socks!
I went to college with a Twinkle Starr. Twinkle was born April 1.
A preschool teacher said she went to school with a guy named Rusty Carr.
A high school teacher graduated with a Honey Buns. Flight attendant knows a Lulu Bob from Tyty, Georgia. An octogenarian in the neighborhood went to school with
Ima June Bugg.
A former choir member of mine knew a Safety Furst and he was a doctor in Oklahoma.
High school girlfriend knew a Brick Stone. And here’s a grand finale name:
A good friend mentioned to me about their friend, Bubba. You know, Bubba is a great Southern name. It usually comes from someone younger in a family calling a male sibling, a brother, Bubba because they can’t say brother. And so it sticks. If you live in the South, you know lots of Bubbas. But these brothers grow up. Johnny turns into John. Ricky turns into Rick. Billy turns into Bill. But what do Bubbas do? This Bubba turned into a Delta airline captain. He realized how unprofessional it would be if he kept his common name as they announced over the speaker to the passengers, “Ladies and gentlemen, today you will be in the good hands of Captain Bubba.”

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